How I Decide What Books to Read
My goal is simple: turn reading from a source of pressure into a system that respects timing, preserves connections, and transforms books from items on a backlog into threads in ongoing conversations. It's not about reading everything. It's about reading the right things at the right time, and maintaining the relationships that led me to them.
I keep a single Amazon Reading List. When someone mentions a book I might want to read, I add it immediately. The source doesn't matter: a friend over coffee, a podcast guest, someone I follow online, a casual reference in an article. If it sounds interesting, it goes on the list. This isn't a commitment. It's just capture. Adding a book removes any pressure to read it right now, or even soon. It sits there until it doesn't. The books that make it through this process—the ones I actually read—I document on my reading page.
Remembering the Source
For every book I add, I record who recommended it and where it came from. Not because I'm building some database, but because recommendations carry context. A book my friend Patrick recommends carries different weight from something I hear on a podcast, and over time I've learned whose taste aligns with mine and whose doesn't.
When I add Chaos by Tom O'Neill, I note that Patrick recommended it. I don't remember the exact conversation, but I remember him mentioning it years ago. The book sits on my list for a long time.
Waiting for the Right Moment
I let books sit. Months, sometimes years. I only read them when the timing feels right. Right now I'm reading Chaos. Patrick recommended it years ago, but something about this moment made it the right time to pick it up. I'm not sure what changed, but it did.
This intentional delay serves a purpose. Books that still interest me after sitting for a while are usually the ones worth reading. The ones that lose their appeal probably weren't the right fit anyway.
Closing the Loop
When I finish a book, I do two things. First, I message the person who recommended it. I tell them I read it, thank them for the recommendation, and maybe share a brief thought about it. People love knowing their recommendation mattered. It's a small gesture that strengthens connections.
Then I message the author. This works particularly well for books that aren't New York Times bestsellers. Authors of smaller books often have modest yearly readerships. They tend to be big readers themselves, they spend time alone, and they check their email, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Roughly eighty percent of the time, they respond with thoughtful replies. I've had ongoing conversations with authors like Brendan O'Shannassy, exchanging messages back and forth about their work and other books.
Sometimes the author recommends another book in their response. When that happens, the cycle repeats itself. I respond to their message, add the new book to my list with a note that the author of Chaos recommended it, and let it sit until the timing feels right.
Why This Works
This system works for me because it removes guilt around reading. There's no backlog pressure, no sense of falling behind. Books are suggestions, not obligations.
It respects timing. Some books need to wait until I'm ready for them, and forcing myself to read something before its moment means missing what it has to offer.
Most importantly, it turns reading into an ongoing conversation with people rather than passive consumption. Each book becomes part of a thread between me and the person who recommended it, and often between me and the person who wrote it. Reading becomes less about checking items off a list and more about staying connected through shared ideas.
The system is simple, and it doesn't need to be anything more than that.